Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.
Also, may I say that random crying jags can fuck right off.
Especially when I’m going to a baseball game as media tomorrow.
Especially when I need to write about catchers today.
Especially when I have so much going on and going for me that my brain just needs to get its fucking act together.
You know what sucks?
Having so few friends you carry on regular conversations with that when one of them can’t talk to you for a bit you feel so utterly lonely.
Well, I feel utterly lonely most of the time, but you know. More so.
Once u mess up liquid eyeliner there is no going back
The cognitive dissonance caused by a society that tells its children to “follow their dreams” through messages in films, literature, etc. and then punishes them for not choosing safe, money making careers in adulthood is fascinating, to say the least.
You can take on the world, you can become something good, you can flourish and flame, but you have to love yourself first.
You are allowed to complain, obviously. You can really dislike the way your stomach looks in high-waisted shorts, be damned that you schlepped all the way into the dressing room to try the little fuckers on and leave empty-handed and pissed. You can curse your nose, the nose of your father that somehow plastered it’s way on your face. You can wonder if slamming your head against the wall would be a better solution to the way you already go about things, the way you never call back and get into bigger messes and say the wrong things. You can have flaws, real sharp flaws that make you look at yourself funny. You can be the kind of person who will crack eggs on the way home. You can be your mistakes a little bit. But you have to love yourself, too. You have to take those flaws and love them in the same way you love the things you’ve always wanted to be but can’t.
You can be annoyed at yourself, you can want to change things about yourself, but you have to, you have to love yourself. Love yourself in a different way then your mother loves you, then men love you, then women love you: in a way that is unbending even when you know the deepest, darkest secrets of yourself. Even when you know you are being unlovable. Even when you can’t get up.
Here’s the thing: if you are not in the trenches with yourself, then you are fighting a losing war before it’s begun. You need to be in the foxhole, the darkest dirtiest corners and the brightest fluorescent lights and you need to love what you see. You need to think you are beautiful and worthy with an (ass/face/sense of humor) to behold. You need to treat yourself fragile and stern, loving but with the impatience of somebody who doesn’t take bullshit. You need to be able to look deeply into yourself and see the good. You need to trust yourself. You need to love yourself. You need to finally start liking yourself a bit, too.
Today, it is time you stop thinking of yourself as the enemy. It is time to stop fighting yourself. If you owe yourself anything, it is that.
Page 1 of 252